Monday, February 28, 2005

Hard day at work

Today was one of those really tough days. I worked almost a double shift. Things were going great this morning. We were cutting up, making fun of Kirk and putting the Kirk mannequin in all sorts of suggestive poses. Next thing we know, Red Alert.

Now, one thing you should know about the Enterprise is that they are a little too quick to sound Red Alert. I kid you not, they once went to Red Alert for a case of Diarrhea. Sulu had the runs and we were on a skeleton crew shift, so Captain Jerk was the only other helm-qualified officer on the bridge. I'll give him credit for one thing, though, he knows his limitations. He couldn't steer this ship into a black hole, even if you pointed him in the right direction. So he went to Red Alert, which brought a full crew to the bridge. He claimed that he saw a ship appear and then disappear. It seemed hostile, so he was "just being prudent".

So, imagine my surprise today when we go to Red Alert and I overhear reports of a ship appearing and disappearing. "Sulu must have tried Damoolian Bangshas again!" I said. But next thing you know, the shields are up and we're heading off at full speed. I gotta tell you, this is the kind of stuff that scares the hell out of me.

So we start firing phasers and the guys from Phaser are all over us screaming for more power. We did some of the fastest reconfiguration work I think we've ever done. Mr. Scott was screaming orders at us, but I could tell that he was pleased at how we were doing. He seems gruff sometimes, but deep down, he's still an Engineer. So don't mess with him.

I have occasionally heard things from the Phaser guys that made my blood run cold. Like "man, how many more of them are there!" or "Oops! Oh ****!!" Today was the worst - "Randomly? You mean just shoot anywhere?" Captain Jerk may not know how to steer, but he can fight real good. If he's just shooting any old place, he's panicked.

We get rocked around a lot and it seems like everything is breaking. We keep it together, though. I burned my hand pretty good, but it ain't the first time and I know Dr. McCoy can fix it up.

Mr. Scott's keeping an eye on the monitors and at one point, it seemed like the entire engine room went completely silent (although it was really just the Engineers). There on the monitor was the face of what we believed to be a Romulan. No one had ever seen one before. But.. he looked really familiar.

"He looks just like Spock's dad!" I said.

"Damned Spock, I knew he was a Romulan!" said Crewman Ursh.

"Yeah, I know what yer all thinkin" said Mr. Scott, "but look at the ears, lads. They're not quite as pointy as Spock's, and the skin isn't quite as green. Ye probably think he looks like Sarek because ye've naught seen many of his kind afore."

And about that time, the ship shook violently and we all went back to work. The Romulan ship eventually blew up, much to our relief. The Phaser guys were all "Yeah! We got em!! We rock!!" but I happen to know that the phasers were offline at the time, because I accidentally rechanneled their power back to Impulse. I gotta be more careful, that could have killed us. Mr. Scott noticed, too. He came over to me and said "Laddy, you ever do that again and we'll be firing you at them, got it?"

So, we came out okay, the ship is still in one piece. Other than my burned hand, the only casualty from Engineering was the Kirk Mannequin, which lost a finger and tore its dress.


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