Sunday, February 06, 2005

Roommate needed

Crapola.

I need a new roommate again. Captain Jerk is keeping his pledge to assign Engineering to dangerous jobs. He sent my roommate down to this planet and he got attacked by a salt vampire. My roommate! Salt vampire! That's like rolling a person in honey and grubs and putting them in front of a bear. You'd think that after feasting on Bob, the thing would not have been hungry for at least three months, but it managed to pick off a few more Engineers. Don't Mess With Engineering, Baby!

The official report sent to Starfleet Command says that Dr. McCoy shot it with a phaser. After a long meeting between Mr. Scott and the rest of the upper-level command staff, it was decided that the truth should be masked, for the safety and reputation of the crew.

The truth is, when Engineering found out it had killed several Engineers, we tracked the salt vampire down. We cornered it just outside the break room on deck 7. I won't get graphic here, so let's just say that we beat the ever loving crap out of that thing. You ain't seen nothing til you've seen a bunch of mad engineers wielding warp core manipulators! You know who not to mess with!

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