Thursday, March 03, 2005

Sam the Sham

Captain Jerk has been strutting his lard-butt all over the ship the last few days, basking in the glory of his latest "victory" that was really a forfeit. So I'm there in the hallway talking with Sam (my roomie) and here comes old fancy-pants himself. I start to make a snide remark to Sam only to find him fawning all over Jerk. I almost lost my lunch! He's all "Man, that was awesome, sir! You are like the coolest warrior in the galaxy!" What a load of crap.

Kirk is just eating it up, I swear I could actually SEE his head expanding. And Sam says "Captain, do you think we could organize a little victory celebration for you?"

Kirk is all smiles and he says "Crewman, that would be an excellent idea. I see great things ahead for you!" The he struts on down the hall.

So there we are in the hallway, me and Sam. He's grinning at me and I'm ready to punch him. Finally I just scream "Why don't you just following, you brown-nosing son-of-a-paqenda!" Then I just stomp off before he could say another thing. I'm spending the night in Lt. Ritter's room tonight, there's no way I can be in the same room with that guy right now.


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