Friday, March 18, 2005

Time drill

This is the strangest thing, we did another time drill. Every once in a while, we do this drill where we send the ship back in time. Sometimes just a few hours, sometimes a day or two. Captain Jerk says it is practice for dire emergencies. I don't know, though. None of my buddies on other ships have ever done anything like this, not even the ones on cruisers. I'm one of the time-control officers for this one. That's the funny thing, as many times as I remember doing this, the only times I can remember it is when I was the time control officer. I have vague memories of other times, but I think they might have just been dreams.

As it turns out, this time drill was a life-saver for me. We went back about 16 hours. About two hours into the drill, I went running over to Crewman First-Class Sartone. He's one of these guys in Engineering who thinks he's better than the rest of us and he always reminds us to be nice to him because he'll be commanding us soon.

Yeah, tell THAT to a bunch of Engineers. Naturally, he gets what he deserves. Anyway, I go running over to him and pull his pants down, underwear, too. He's screaming "Get him off me! Get him off me!" Some of the other guys are laughing, but I'm not. I'm a serious as I can be. Just as I get his underwear down around his ankles, there is an explosion and a blinding white light. Mr. Scott is absolutely livid. "Good God, man!" he shouts. "That's an anti-matter reaction! What the hell is going on?!"

What's going on is my face really hurts. It is now bright red with the sunburn caused by the anti-matter. Everyone now sees spots in there eyes from the brightness of the anti-matter. Dr. McCoy is going to have a field day. Sartone can't figure out if he is relieved or angry, he keeps going back and forth between both. Finally he realizes that he not only has no pants ON, but he has no pants PERIOD. He grabs a radiation suit, puts it on and rushes off to his quarters.

I spend the next two hours in Mr. Scott's office. I hear some more of his weird swear words. I wonder if I might use a universal translator the next time he is this mad, but I'm not entirely sure I really want to know what he is saying. I'm probably going to be suspended for this, I just hope I don't get sent back to Impulse.


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