Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Never a dull moment

I'm getting a little tired of going to red alert and then trying to make the ship go as fast as possible. I was sitting at my post talking with Crewman Rigbaath. He was telling me about the various bar fights he has been in. By nature, he is a very gentle person, but when he gets attacked, he doesn't back down. He's not a big guy, but as I mentioned before, his bones and muscles are extremely dense. If he hits you, you're going down. He is the only person I know who has beaten up two klingons at once.

Anyway, while we're talking, I a communication from Brad. He tells me that Gary O'Herlihy just bought it. Just as I'm about to ask how, the red alert sounds and next thing you know, Mr. Scott is yelling for Warp 8! I tell Rigbaath that he may have to get out and push. We're doing our best, but things are starting to shake. The cores are really hot. All of a sudden, we just stop. Now how the hell do you go from Warp 8 to a standstill in nothing flat? Everything is dead quite after that.

We start monitoring the main screen to see what is going on, and pretty soon we see Captain Fancy Pants on some planet. He's being forced to fight this big thing that we later find out is a called a Gorn. It's an 8-foot tall reptilian creature that hisses a lot. Once we realize that there's nothing else we can do but watch, my job becomes fun again. We start pulling for the Gorn, of course. There's a lot of heavy betting action going. About a third of the guys put their money on the slimy, cold-blooded reptile, and the rest put their money on the Gorn. Even though this has become something of a party, Mr. Scott won't let us have any alcohol. He says that you never know when you may be back at red alert. I see him sneak a few swigs from his hidden bottle of scotch every once in a while, too.

Brad comes in and joins us after a while. He synthesizes this holo Gorn and makes it spar with the Kirk mannequin, which is really looking bad these days. The Gorn holo does some pretty rude things to the mannequin. Mr. Scott tries to be stern, but you can tell he's trying to keep from laughing.

Jerk ends up shooting the Gorn with a make-shift cannon. I gotta give him some credit, I think this may have been the first time he figured something out without having to ask Mr. Spock. I lost a lot of money, too. Stupid Gorn.


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